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> It isn't about sticking it to anyone

I disagree. Whenever I have suicidal fantasies, the sense of hopelessness is always accompanied by some twisted form of "that'll show them". "Them" is usually either my employer or a girl I adore. I'm deeply ashamed that that's the case, but it's the truth.



I can relate mate. There is so much self-shame in those thoughts but like with all mental illness, we can't generalize. I'm sure some people have those feelings, I know there have been times when my own episodes have even included them so maybe I shouldn't have written it off so quickly.




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